Private Garden
-B. Thomas Clark

As you enter through a small opening in the bush, there is a large fence that spans one side of the garden as far as can be seen. It stands a mile high, assuring you that you could never get by it. This fence is menacing, and on the other side of it lies your dreams. From this point, it will take a miracle to get there. On the other side of the garden is another fence. Beyond this one lies your future and the closer you get to it, the further away it seems. You're stuck. The only way out is the way you came in and that is where all of your troubles are. This is the safest place for you now.

It is a grim picture. This garden is your past thrown up in your face. Weeds of failure seem to spring up under your feet. There was once a time when you watered them, not knowing they would grow to be only weeds. The grass is withered like the fire that once burned in your soul. The darkness of your past surrounds you as tears of guilt fall like rain. There is a stench in the air of all the wasted time you've spent over the years. Things you worked for that never panned out.

Looking down you notice the fallen leaves of hope. The color in them has faded due to plans you always held that fell through. Above you are the barren trees. They once acted as the support and backbone of your hopes. They were the evidence that your moment would not be fleeting. Suddenly, the wind howls behind you. It is a painful cry and immediately you recognize it. It is your own voice, crying out in the long dark of night. In the distance on a hill you see a rose. This is the one good thing in your life right now, and as you approach it, it crumbles to the ground.

So you sit on the hill and pray. You pray desperately. Your thoughts hit Heaven faster than the speed of light, in a barrage of hurt and pain. You cry out for answers that aren't there. You can feel your head pounding and your mind racing. Your soul cries out for love, and for a moment your heart stands still. Waiting… Waiting for that still soft voice that you came here for.

And then you hear it. Indecipherable images flicker on your closed eyelids, and you recognize all to well the voice that speaks to you. Yet you have absolutely no clue as to what it is saying. The response comes at you like your prayers came to Heaven. Quick and blurred. But in it, there is peace. And you know that there is a resolution somewhere. You know that once you start feeling better you should go back to your life with the peace you have found, but you don't want to leave because you know you are in the presence of God. Finally you have found what you have been seeking, but you know that when you leave the garden, you will be back to the hustle and bustle and peace will be hard to find. At that time, you know it will be difficult to take a break and come back. So you stay for as long as possible. But there comes a time when the Lord gives you that push to go back and be strong and courageous… So you go, and somehow even though you have no idea what it was God told you, and all you feel is peace, even though the situation didn't change, you feel better about it and are able to handle it in a way that is right.

I encourage you if you haven't already, to go to your garden. We all have that special place where we know we can always seek audience with the Almighty. I urge you strongly to go there and lay all your burdens at Christ's feet. Let Him hold you. There is not a road you go down that He has not taken. Not a tear that you cry that he hasn't shed for you. He knows. If your prayer life isn't what it should be, go to a quiet peaceful place, sit down, close your eyes, and wait. After a while, the silence will fade, and either you will feel the presence of God, or you will start praying in a way that you can't remember praying in a long time… I'd like each of you to try that this week and see if you don't feel better about whatever is not right in your life.

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